3 Things I'm Quitting Next Year, and What I'm Choosing Instead

2023 is upon us and I have been doing some looking back as well as looking ahead to a new year, filled with possibilities. I often use my morning walks as a "moving meditation" and focus that time on whatever I need that day. Sometimes I set the intention of peace or stillness where I connect to the earth around me and my breath, perform a full body scan and assess how I feel, physically and mentally. But more frequently, I see it as a time to uncloud my judgement and expand my creative mind (usually thinking of new blog articles to write like this one).

On a chilly after dinner stroll, while looking at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, a question to ponder entered my mind. "What do you want to quit?" … and if you know me at all…I'm not a quitter. So this thought troubled me for a moment; I usually think of all the things I would like to add, improve, or "level up" in some area of my life. Don't get me wrong, the desire to continually become a better version of yourself is a blessing and something you deserve to dive head first into. Learning how to be more mentally, physically and spiritually resilient, strong and energetic, is the greatest return on investment you'll get in life. But it couldn't keep me from exploring the question of "quitting"…

I am a firm believer that everything serves a purpose in our lives and is there to teach us a valuable lesson. If you see the opportunity instead of the obstacle, these lessons enable you to take inspired action in all areas of your life, from fitness to finances, and everything in between. There is a need to "release" or let go of anything that is no longer in alignment with the future you wish to create. These can be thought patterns, limiting beliefs, self doubt, bad habits, relationships, places, past resentments, spiritual practices, or anything else that inhibits our growth and our ability to thrive in life. "But I'm not a quitter" I kept telling myself…

There were three reoccurring ideologies that I couldn't shake so I decided to allow my thoughts to flow and see what I could uncover. So without further adieu, here's what I am committed to quitting, and what I'll focus on instead. (Any of these resonate with you?)

1. A Niche vs. Finding purpose

When I began my wellness coaching business this year, I was consumed by the task of choosing my "niche". Should I focus on fitness? Am I more knowledgeable about nutrition? Do I have more enthusiasm for inspiring people? The more I tried to choose just one area of "expertise", the more I realized how multi-passionate I am…and that we all are as human beings.

That's when it dawned on me that purpose is NOT a "niche' and can be expressed in many forms. My TRUE purpose is empowering others to live a life full of health and vitality. Leading by example, teaching, and providing guidance to those looking to improve the quality of their lives. Motivating and encouraging people to take the best possible care of themselves, so that they too, may experience the return on investment true health offers.

2. Creating boundaries vs Setting standards

When I first discovered the idea of setting boundaries I was more than intrigued. I thought "wow, what a perfect way to protect my peace!", but I've since expanded my thoughts on the topic. Let me explain.

**There are two types of boundaries; physical and energetic, both of which ask you to remove yourself or another person in some way (through actual distance or time, or simply choosing to no longer allow them to "drain you") to safe guard your thoughts & feelings. But there is a major flaw with this concept sometimes… instead of observing our unhealed wounds that surface (ie "being triggered") by what the other person says or does, we can instead place blame externally, and not take the opportunity to look within ourselves. This process inhibits self awareness…which to me is the KEY that unlocks growth, change, and improvement in all areas of life.

Instead of placing relationships on the proverbial chopping block left and right, I set out to better understand my own needs (mentally, physically, emotionally, energetically). From there, I focused on communicating my needs, expressing my expectations (of myself and my expectations of others), and recognizing when I needed to let go of expectation on the occasion (a certain outcome of a situation, another persons perception of me, or another's reaction to circumstances). These foundational thoughts became my new STANDARD in relationship with myself and others.

When you set standards for yourself, you're more likely to choose things that are aligned with upholding them (for example: if the standard is living a healthy life, your consistent choices would include daily exercise, plenty of sleep and water, and prioritizing protein and leafy greens in your diet). But it works the same in relation to others; set your standards and communicate them (your needs and expectations), deepen your self awareness (discover unhealed wounds you must work through and release), and be open to the other person doing the same thing. We are all human and of course you'll experience some challenges and lack of reciprocity, because others have their own past to discover and future to create. Use your discernment on what feels aligned, and who you pour precious energy back into.

I am not advocating you stay in a toxic relationship or volatile / dangerous situation, I'm just saying before you build walls (what we think are boundaries…), learn to better understand yourself and the life you want to create, and build the foundation on your own standards.

3. Comparison vs Authenticity

For so long, we have been inundated by comparison. Advertisements with airbrushed celebrities, promoting some product or idea, claiming it will "change your life / appearance / worth." And with the rise of the internet and social media, the millions of "get rich / skinny / fit / famous etc" ideas and schemes, and add the fact there are younger and younger unsuspecting users with access, it’s a pure comparison trap.

I didn't expect myself to fall prey. But lo and behold, I saw everyone seemingly doing "better" than I was, looking leaner than me, and making a hell of a lot more money than I ever have. It's hard to feel like your making progress in ANY area, if you're constantly being shown…you're just not quite good enough yet.

Going back to the self awareness piece above (like I said it’s the key that unlocks everything), in recognizing my own feelings, I was able to take a step back and understand WHY I would feel like that and HOW I could handle those invasive thoughts of comparison in the future. We all have personal comparison "traps" (body image, money, relationships, career, fame, etc) and I believe it is our responsibility to discover them, ultimately allowing for healing and release of those unwarranted thought patterns.

But there is one major way to avoid the continued comparison game….unapologetic AUTHENTICITY. Being SO YOU that no one could ever be like you, and you have no need to ever be like any one other than yourself. The adventure of discovering WHO you are; continuously practicing self awareness & internal exploration, determining your standards for life, and living in alignment with your purpose, is always evolving and has no definite end or deadline. It's both exciting and challenging, but always worth the effort put into creating your truest, most authentic self.

So before the start of a brand new year, where you have the opportunity to do / be ANYTHING you wish….I challenge you to ask yourself question too. "What can I quit?" Once you have acknowledged that limiting belief, outdated pattern, bad habit, unsupportive thought, or anything else in your life that’s holding you back from stepping into the next level version of you…decide what you'll focus that new found energy on instead and hold onto it all year long (and beyond).